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you make yourself into an object
a [[knife]]
a [[girl-shape|girl]]a blade nobody wants
[[sharpen]] yourself
you stay [[hidden]]empty it out empty it out \
<<if lastVisited("cry") is 1>>[[empty your face empty an ocean through your worry lines|unredden]]<</if>> \
<<if lastVisited("pull") is 1>>[[empty your heart empty your memory the threads of words there|void]]<</if>> \
<<if lastVisited("hidden") is 1>>[[empty the earth from your hole in the ground|enamel]]<</if>> \
empty it out it's emptypaper doll outline girl
you make your face a mirror
you [[pull it tight|pull]]
you [[cry at a pin drop|cry]]
redden your eyes into a gritty ocean. [[don't come here|empty]].
no, don't look away.on stone's rough edges
get dangerous, get a tough line
[[grow a diamond over your skin|unforgivable]]no one should see the angle on you, you're no one's sharpness
[[cut a hole in the ground, live there|empty]]only a body
drawn raw
can run me
run me down
run me ragged
legs like knives
like needles
only a body can ruin me
//(end)//pull yourself into a line
pull yourself together in a line
you're words, [[you're only words here|empty]]become something unforgivable
the word you can't take back
rust out in the atmosphere
[[be abandoned|rust]]So now unredden me.
Take this dull puzzle. Take it on.
I dare you. I'm right here. [[Look right at me.|take]] I'm full grown.Here you are in your red enamel home.
Here you are enclosed in a soothing oval, in precision.
[[Open up.|sold]]Someone is ready to buy you.
Someone wants to take you as a gift for a girl.
[[Be sold.|song]]Couldn’t take me anywhere. But I would take. Red red eyes, red face as raw as meat. I’d take my edge. I'd take my sharpness over nothing. I'd stretch my legs, grow hard as horses. [[I'd become enough of a body to run.|raw]]the story of my heart is: went looking for
the void and found it
went looking for the open air
went straight for what could hurt
and [[found it|found]]found it where
I wasn't looking
[[saw it run silver|shake hands]] under
rocks silt and trash in the nameless creekshake hands:
<<if lastVisited("found") is 1>>your hands are shaking.<</if>>\
<<if lastVisited("song") is 1>>Put your red shape in girl hands. Gripped loose and warm. Go.<</if>>
[[Meet your sorrows.]]Your sorrows are standing beside you at the bus stop. They avert their eyes expertly but you recognize them. Every one. They are familiar as a family reunion. They wear headphones and hats. They breathe into your body. Stumble on one. Your sorrow in a pea green coat with yellow buttons. <<if lastVisited("found") is 2>>[[Help it up.|open your mouth]]<</if>>
<<if lastVisited("song") is 2>>[[Help it up.|help it up]]<</if>>empty it out empty out everything you were afraid of. be empty in the thing you were never forgiven for. empty out your redness at the bottom of the creek and rust there and be lightened.
//(end)//Sold for the girl who's a line from a song. The girl who's a pile of parts. Tender girl. Greet girl. [[Shake hands.|shake hands]]Open your mouth for them to fling dust in. Make a place for your sorrows in the dust in your mouth. You're a shadow of never going home and you're home now. Your sorrows reach up through your spine to pet your hair. They say //ssshhh, you're home now.//
//(end)//Become a length of rope. Become your sharp magic. You're a container. You're an instrument. You have what you need. You were hidden for years but you're here now. You watch the sorrow stretch and crack its knees. You walk away together in the noon sun.
//(end)//Erin Watson